Self-Harm

Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts themselves or does something that could cause harm, like skipping medication they need to take. It can take many different forms, including cutting, burning, hitting, scratching, pulling out hair, or overdosing on substances. Some people self-harm by engaging in risky behaviors, excessive exercise, or self-neglect, like not eating properly or not taking care of their health.

People self-harm for many reasons, and every situation is unique. The cause or trigger can be different each time. It might be a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, a response to stress or trauma, a way to express feelings that seem too hard to put into words, or even a form of self-punishment. Sometimes, people self-harm because they have seen or heard of others doing it and are curious about how it might feel. Understanding the reason behind self-harm can help in finding better, healthier ways to cope.

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Signs to Look Out For

It’s not always easy to tell if someone is self-harming, as many people try to hide it.

However, some signs might indicate that a person is struggling:

Unexplained cuts, bruises, burns, or scars, especially on areas like the arms, legs, stomach, or wrists.
Bloodstains on tissues, clothing, or bedding without a clear explanation.
Wearing long sleeves or trousers all the time, even in very hot weather, to cover injuries.
Avoiding activities that expose skin, such as swimming or changing in front of others.
Expressing feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, or guilt, often saying things like, “I’m not good enough” or “I deserve this.”
Withdrawing from friends, family, and social situations, avoiding conversations, or becoming unusually quiet.
Sudden weight loss or gain, changes in eating habits, or an obsession with controlling food.
Signs of vomiting in toilets, sinks, or showers (such as blocked drains or an unusual smell), which could indicate an eating disorder.

If you notice these signs in a friend, a sibling, or even yourself, it’s important to take them seriously and not ignore them.

What to Do if You or Someone You Know is Self-Harming

If a friend or someone close to you tells you they are self-harming, or if you suspect they are, here’s how you can support them:

Find a quiet, safe space to talk. Let them know you are there for them and that they can talk without fear of judgment.
Listen without interrupting or rushing to give advice. Sometimes, just feeling heard and understood can be a huge relief.
Acknowledge their feelings. You don’t have to agree with what they’re doing, but you can validate their emotions by saying things like, “I understand that you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now.”
Encourage them to seek support. There are professionals, support groups, and resources that can help. Offer to help them find the right support, whether it’s talking to a teacher, a counselor, or a helpline.
Help them find alternative coping strategies. There are other ways to manage difficult emotions, such as drawing, listening to music, journaling, exercise, breathing techniques, or using distraction apps like Calm Harm.
Be patient and understanding. Recovery takes time, and self-harm often doesn’t stop overnight. Your support and encouragement can make a big difference.
If they are in immediate danger, seek urgent help. If someone has seriously hurt themselves or has suicidal thoughts, they need medical attention. Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult or call emergency services.

Where to Get Help

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, you don’t have to go through it alone. There are lots of support options available, and reaching out for help is a strong and positive step.

Downloads

Make Your Own Crisis Coping Plan – A guide to help plan safe ways to cope when feeling overwhelmed.
Wellbeing in Action – Self-Help Booklet – A resource with practical strategies to help manage emotions and stress.

Podcasts

A Parent and Daughter Talk About Coping with Self-Harm – Real-life experiences and advice from people who have been through similar struggles.
A Parent and Daughter Discuss Needing Hospital Treatment for Self-Harm – Insight into when and how to seek medical help.

Apps to Help You Cope

Calm Harm – Offers distraction techniques and activities to resist the urge to self-harm.
Blue Ice – Designed for young people with self-harm urges, featuring mood tracking and coping strategies.

Websites for More Support

Young Minds – Mental health support specifically for young people, with advice on self-harm and emotional well-being.
Harmless – A charity providing support, resources, and information about self-harm recovery.
Solent Mind – Mental health support services in Hampshire, the Isle of Wight, and Dorset, including local helplines and groups.
Papyrus UK – A suicide prevention charity offering confidential support to young people in distress.

You are not alone, and help is always available. If you need immediate support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted adult, a teacher, a school counselor, or a helpline. There is always hope, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this.

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Self Harm