Depression
If you ever feel sad or low, you’re not alone. Everyone experiences these feelings from time to time. Life can be tough, and things like school stress, friendships, family problems, or even no obvious reason at all can make you feel this way. The good news is that low mood doesn’t have to last forever, and there are plenty of ways to help yourself feel better.
When should you worry?
Advice and Guidance
Why Do We Feel Low?
Low mood can happen to anyone, and it’s a completely normal reaction to stress, disappointment, or difficult life events. Some common causes include:
- School stress: Exams, homework, or pressure to do well can feel overwhelming.
- Friendships & relationships: Arguments, breakups, or feeling left out can be painful.
- Family issues: Divorce, moving house, financial struggles, or family arguments can affect your mood.
- Social media: Comparing yourself to others online can make you feel like you’re not good enough.
- Big life changes: Changing schools, moving away, or dealing with loss can cause sadness.
- Physical health: Lack of sleep, poor diet, and not getting enough exercise can affect how you feel.
Sometimes, low moods happen for no clear reason. This can be frustrating, but it’s still valid, and you deserve support. When we start avoiding things we usually enjoy and withdrawing from people, it can make things worse. If this keeps happening and starts to affect your daily life, it might lead to depression.
Why Are Our Thoughts So Negative?
Our brains are wired to focus on negative thoughts more than positive ones. This was useful when humans needed to stay alert to dangers in the past, but today it can lead to self-doubt and overthinking. The more we listen to negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps producing them.
Try this quick activity:
- Set a timer for 2 minutes.
- Pay attention to your thoughts. Write down whatever pops into your head.
- When the time is up, look at what you wrote. Was it a mix of random thoughts? Were you stuck on one thing? This exercise helps you understand how your mind works.
If most of your thoughts were negative, it’s not your fault—your brain is just doing its job. But you can train it to focus on more helpful thoughts by practicing positive self-talk and mindfulness.
How Can You Support Someone Who Feels Low?
If a friend is struggling, here’s how you can help:
- Listen and validate: Let them know their feelings are real and that they’re not alone.
- Avoid toxic positivity: Saying things like "Cheer up" or "It could be worse" can make them feel unheard.
- Challenge negative thoughts: If they say, "I’m useless," remind them that thoughts aren’t facts.
- Encourage action: Suggest small, manageable things to help them feel better, like going for a walk or watching a movie together.
- Check in regularly: Even a simple text saying "How are you?" can make a big difference.
If they mention self-harm or feeling suicidal, encourage them to speak to a trusted adult or call a helpline. Their safety is the most important thing.
How to Boost Your Mood
One of the best ways to improve low mood is by doing things that bring joy and meaning, even if you don’t feel like it at first. Try making a routine that includes these six key areas:
- Connect: Spend time with friends, family, or pets. Social connection helps boost happiness.
- Self-care: Eat well, sleep enough, and take care of your hygiene. A healthy body supports a healthy mind.
- Be active: Move your body—walk, cycle, dance, or do any physical activity you enjoy.
- Give: Do something kind for someone else. Acts of kindness boost well-being.
- Be present: Take a break from overthinking and focus on the present moment using mindfulness techniques.
- Learn: Challenge yourself to pick up a new skill, hobby, or interest.
Even if you don’t feel like doing these things at first, sticking to them can help improve your mood over time.
Dealing with Stress and Tough Situations
If something is stressing you out, try problem-solving:
- Identify the problem: "I’m stressed about exams and scared I’ll fail."
- List possible solutions: "Make a study plan, ask for help, take breaks."
- Pick one: "I’ll focus on one subject at a time and take breaks."
- Make a plan and stick to it: Set realistic goals and reward yourself for progress.
When facing problems, remember:
- You don’t have to figure everything out alone—asking for help is okay.
- Breaking problems into smaller steps makes them easier to handle.
- Stressful situations don’t last forever; things will change.
When to Get Extra Help
If you're struggling with feeling low, sad, or down, you're not alone. Everyone experiences ups and downs, and it's completely normal to feel this way sometimes. This guide can help you understand what's going on and figure out what to do next.
GREEN – Coping / Needs Support
This is when you're feeling low, but it's manageable. Most people feel like this from time to time.
Why You Might Feel This Way:
- Adjusting to changes, like starting a new school
- Friendship or relationship problems
- Being teased, bullied, or feeling left out
- Feeling unwell or in pain
- Family arguments or breakups
- Losing someone (a pet, family member, or friend)
- Struggling with schoolwork
What You Might Notice About Yourself:
- Wanting to be around others all the time, or not wanting to be around them at all
- Asking for reassurance a lot
- Avoiding school or activities you usually enjoy
- Trouble sleeping or feeling constantly tired
- Feeling unmotivated, withdrawn, or less talkative
- Getting upset easily or arguing more
- Crying more often
What You Can Do:
- Remind yourself that feeling low sometimes is normal, especially after something upsetting
- Keep active—mix schoolwork with things you enjoy
- Stick to a routine and plan fun things to look forward to
- Break things into smaller tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed
- Try distraction techniques—check out the A-Z of coping strategies here: Watch on YouTube
Helpful Resources:
- Stuff That Sucks by Ben Sedley
- Little Blue Book of Sunshine – a mental health guide for young people in Hampshire, Southampton, and the Isle of Wight. Read it here
AMBER – Needs Help
If your low mood is lasting longer, becoming more frequent, or making life harder, it might be time to reach out for support.
Why You Might Feel This Way:
- Being bullied or excluded regularly
- Grieving a loss, including breakups
- Conflict at home or school
- Big changes, like a family breakup
- Feeling pressure from school or exams
- Sometimes, there’s no clear reason—you can still feel low without one
What You Might Notice About Yourself:
- Sleep problems (struggling to fall or stay asleep, waking up too early)
- Wanting reassurance all the time or avoiding social situations
- Feeling unmotivated or disinterested in things
- Struggling with personal hygiene (not washing or changing clothes often)
- Mood swings, getting upset or irritated more easily
- Thoughts of harming yourself (occasional, minor self-harm)
(Not everyone who self-harms is depressed or suicidal—there are many reasons for self-harming behaviour.)
What You Can Do:
- Watch a self-harm support workshop here: Watch on YouTube
- Talk to someone at school, like a teacher or pastoral support
- Speak to your GP
- Try free online counselling at Kooth (for 11-25-year-olds in Dorset, Hampshire, and the Isle of Wight)
- Call the Young Minds Parent Helpline (your parents/carers can call for advice): 08088025544
Helpful Resources:
- Am I Depressed? And What Can I Do About It? by Shirley Reynolds & Monika Parkinson
- Beyond The Blues: A Workbook To Help Teens Overcome Depression by Lisa Schab
- Stopping The Pain: A Workbook For Young People Who Cut and Self-Injure by Lawrence Shapiro
RED – Needs Specialist Treatment or Urgent Help
If your mood is seriously affecting your daily life or you're having thoughts about harming yourself or ending your life, you need to reach out for urgent help.
Why You Might Feel This Way:
- Being bullied or abused long-term
- Family problems like conflict, financial stress, or serious illness
- Losing someone or experiencing trauma
- Feeling overwhelmed by school, social pressure, or personal problems
- Sometimes, there’s no clear reason—you can still feel deeply depressed
What You Might Notice About Yourself:
- Avoiding friends and family completely
- Not wanting to leave the house or go to school
- Not eating or sleeping properly for a long time
- Feeling like nothing matters anymore
- Arguing more or being more aggressive
- Doing impulsive things, like running away
- Feeling hopeless about the future
- Having thoughts, plans, or urges to harm yourself or end your life
(Not everyone who self-harms is suicidal, but if you’re feeling unsafe, get help now.)
What You Can Do:
- Speak to your GP
- Talk to your school nurse or a trusted teacher
- If abuse, bullying, or other serious problems are making things worse, contact services that can help, like Children’s Services
- Try free online counselling with Kooth (for 11-25-year-olds in Dorset, Hampshire, and the Isle of Wight)
- Call Young Minds Parent Helpline (your parents/carers can call for advice): 08088025544
- If you’re at serious risk, ask someone to help you make a self-referral to CAMHS
Top Tips for Coping with Low Mood
- Talk to someone you trust. Keeping your feelings inside can make things worse.
- Keep a daily routine. Even when you don’t feel like it, sticking to a schedule can help.
- Do things you enjoy (or used to enjoy). Even small activities can improve your mood.
- Take care of yourself. Eat well, get enough sleep, and move your body.
- Avoid things that make you feel worse. This includes alcohol, drugs, and isolating yourself.
Extra Resources
If you’re looking for more guidance, these books and apps might help:
- "Stuff That Sucks" by Ben Sedley
- "Am I Depressed? And What Can I Do About It?" by Shirley Reynolds & Monika Parkinson
- Apps: Stay Alive, WellMind, Mood Tools
- Websites: Young Minds, Papyrus, Calm Zone
Remember: You’re not alone, and things can get better. Reach out, keep going, and take small steps towards feeling better every day.
Self care and Prevention
Video Showcase
Related Conditions
Further Information
