Bereavement and Loss
Bereavement is the experience of losing someone or something important to you. It can be a deeply emotional and personal process, and everyone reacts differently. Some people may feel sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief, while others may struggle to express their feelings at all. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and the process can take different lengths of time for different people.
Grief often comes in waves. One moment, you might feel okay, and the next, a memory or reminder can bring back deep emotions. This is completely normal. Some people experience stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but these don’t always happen in order, and you might go back and forth between them.
How Loss Can Feel Different for Different People
Grief is unique to each person. While some might find comfort in talking about their feelings, others may prefer to keep them private. Some people cry, others feel numb, and some experience physical symptoms like tiredness, loss of appetite, headaches, or trouble concentrating.
It’s important to know that grief doesn’t have a set timeline. Some people feel better within weeks or months, while others may continue to process their emotions for years. Some find it helpful to express their grief through creative outlets like writing, drawing, or music. Others may need to talk about their emotions with friends, family, or a professional. No matter how you feel, your emotions are valid, and there is no ‘right’ way to grieve.
Loss Doesn’t Always Mean Someone Has Passed Away
While bereavement is often associated with the death of a person, loss can take many different forms. You might grieve the end of a close friendship, your parents' divorce, moving away from a familiar place, or losing a sense of identity or purpose. These types of losses can be just as painful and difficult to process.
For example, a friendship ending might leave you feeling isolated, confused, or even betrayed. Moving to a new place can feel like losing a part of yourself, as you leave behind familiar faces, routines, and comfort zones. Even changing schools or finishing a significant chapter in your life can bring up feelings of grief. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and seek support if you need it.
No matter what kind of loss you experience, it’s okay to grieve and take time to adjust. Talking to someone who understands, journaling your thoughts, or finding new ways to create meaning in your life can help you through the transition.
Losing a Family Member
The loss of a family member, such as a parent, sibling, or grandparent, can be life-changing. It may leave you feeling alone, confused, or even angry. Family relationships are unique, and the loss of a loved one can create big changes in your life. If the person who passed away was a caregiver, you might feel a huge gap in your daily routine and support system. If they were ill for a long time, you may feel relief mixed with sadness, which can be confusing but is completely normal.
It can also be difficult if family members grieve in different ways. You may notice that some people don’t want to talk about it, while others become more emotional. Sometimes, family members may argue more or become distant because they are struggling with their grief. It’s important to take care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it. Talking to someone you trust, such as another family member, a teacher, or a counsellor, can help you cope with your emotions.
Losing a Friend
Losing a close friend can be incredibly painful, especially if they were someone you relied on for support and companionship. You might feel like nobody else understands your loss, or you may struggle with memories of the time you spent together. If your friend was part of a larger group, it can be difficult to navigate social situations without them. You may also feel a sense of guilt, wondering if you could have done something differently.
It can help to talk to others who knew them, write down your feelings, or find ways to honour their memory, such as making a scrapbook or sharing positive stories about them. If your friend passed away suddenly, the shock may take longer to process, and you may need extra time and support to come to terms with what happened.
Losing Someone Important to You
Sometimes, the person who meant the most to you wasn’t a relative or a best friend but a mentor, teacher, coach, or someone who played a significant role in your life. Their loss can be just as hard to cope with. You might feel that others don’t understand why you are grieving so deeply, but your feelings are completely valid.
This kind of loss can sometimes feel overlooked by others, which can make it more isolating. You may find comfort in writing a letter to the person you lost, even if you can’t send it, or talking to others who also valued them. Finding ways to continue their impact in your life, such as taking inspiration from their advice or lessons, can help keep their memory alive
Losing Something Important to You
Loss doesn’t always involve the death of a person. You might experience grief if you lose something significant, like a pet, your home, a place that was special to you, or even a future you had imagined for yourself.
Losing a pet can be just as painful as losing a person because they were a source of comfort and companionship. Losing your home, especially if you have to move suddenly, can feel like losing a sense of security. If you’ve had to give up a dream or a goal due to circumstances beyond your control, it can feel like a deep personal loss.
These losses can also bring strong emotions, and it’s important to acknowledge and process them just as you would with any other kind of grief. It can help to talk to someone who understands, keep reminders of what you lost in a positive way, and allow yourself time to adjust to the change.
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Things You Can Do to Help When You Are Bereaved
Grief can be overwhelming, but there are things you can do to help yourself cope with loss. Here are some strategies that might help:
1. Talk About Your Feelings
It’s important to share your emotions with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, teacher, or counsellor. Talking can help you process your feelings and feel less alone in your grief.
2. Write Down Your Thoughts
Journaling can be a great way to express emotions you might struggle to say out loud. Writing letters to the person you lost or keeping a diary of your thoughts and feelings can help you work through your grief.
3. Find Healthy Ways to Express Your Emotions
Grief can bring up many emotions, and it’s important to express them in a healthy way. This might include:
- Drawing or painting
- Playing or listening to music
- Exercising or playing sports
- Spending time in nature
- Practicing mindfulness or meditation
4. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Grief can be exhausting, and taking care of your body can help you cope emotionally. Try to:
- Eat nutritious meals
- Get enough sleep
- Stay active by going for walks or doing activities you enjoy
- Drink plenty of water
5. Remember and Honour the Person or Thing You Lost
Finding ways to honour your loved one’s memory can be comforting. You might:
- Create a memory box with photos and personal items
- Light a candle in their memory
- Visit a place that was special to them
- Do something they enjoyed, like watching their favourite film or taking part in their favourite hobby
6. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions
There’s no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to cry, be angry, or feel confused. It’s all part of the process, and allowing yourself to feel these emotions can help you heal.
7. Seek Support When You Need It
You don’t have to go through this alone. There are professionals and organisations that can offer support. Speaking to a bereavement counsellor, joining a support group, or reaching out to a helpline can provide comfort and guidance.
8. Be Patient with Yourself
Grief takes time, and healing doesn’t happen overnight. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace. Don’t feel pressured to “move on” or “get over it” quickly—everyone’s journey is different.
More Information
If you are struggling with bereavement and need support, there are organisations in the UK that can help:
- Child Bereavement UK – Offers support for young people who have lost someone close, with resources for managing grief.
- Winston’s Wish – Provides bereavement support specifically for children and teenagers, including online chats and phone helplines.
- Hope Again (Cruse Bereavement Support)– A website for young people coping with loss, offering advice, personal stories, and access to trained professionals.
- Samaritans , call 116 123 – Provides confidential emotional support 24/7 for anyone feeling overwhelmed, including those dealing with grief.
- YoungMinds – Supports young people with mental health challenges, including grief and loss, with resources on coping strategies.
- The Mix – Offers free support for under-25s dealing with various issues, including bereavement, through helplines, online chats, and discussion boards.
- Grief Encounter – A charity providing specialist bereavement support for young people, including one-on-one counselling and group therapy.
Grief can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a support organisation to help you navigate this difficult time. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek support whenever you need it.
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