How to support your Baby's Development
Five to Thrive is based on five key activities that are the building blocks of healthy communication and brain development:
- Respond: Thinking about what your child needs and responding to this.
- Cuddle/Engage: Connecting and engaging. This building block is “cuddle” for babies and children. This becomes “engage” for young people and adults.
- Relax: Learning to respond to stress and react in a suitable way.
- Play: Being playful and activating the right side of the brain.
- Talk: Speaking or signing and activating the left side of the brain.
Just like when playing with building blocks, if your tower falls, you need to rebuild. So if you’re trying to talk to your child and they get frustrated or upset, you need to respond to how they’re feeling and address this first.
When your child, (whether they’re an infant, child, or emerging adult), enjoys these five simple activities every day it helps them:
- Grow
- Be content in their own skin
- Make and sustain friendships
- Have positive connections with you and their family
The Five to Thrive activities are important at all ages and stages of your child’s life, so it’s never too late to start. They build baby and toddler brains and support healthy brains for:
- Pre-school children
- School-age children
- Young people
- Adults
It is amazing that by enjoying five key daily activities with your child, you’re helping your child’s brain grow. You will also be supporting their healthy development.
When should you worry?
Newborn
NEWBORN
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is newborn and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Don’t have a Grasp Reflex (doesn’t grab your finger or small object when you put it in their hand)
- Are often startling and you cannot understand why
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely moves one of their arms compared to the other arm
- Rarely moves one leg compared to the other leg
- When your baby startles, one side moves or looks different from the other
6-8 weeks
6-8 WEEKS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 6-8 weeks and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Have not started to bring both their hands to their face, or do not move their arms much
- Keep their hands fisted, and you find it difficult to open their hands
- Can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Mostly moves one arm or mostly brings one hand to their face
- Rarely kicks or moves one leg compared to the other leg
2-3 months
2-3 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 2-3 months and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Have not started to bring both their hands to their face, or do not move their arms much
- Keep their hands fisted, and you find it difficult to open their hands
- Can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Mostly moves one arm or mostly brings one hand to their face
- Rarely kicks or moves one leg compared to the other leg
3-4 months
3-4 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 3-4 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when awake
- Prefer to keep their arms by their sides. For example, they do not reach for things, or do not bring their hands together over their face or tummy
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Still need you to support their head, or can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Have very tight fists and it’s hard to open their hand
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
4-6 months
4-6 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 4-6 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Are unable to roll, or can roll in one direction but not the other
- Find it difficult to reach their arms out. For example, they do not reach for toys
- Still have their early reflexes, like the startle reflex and grasp reflex
- Keep their legs flat when lying on their back. For example, they do not bring their feet to their chest
- Still need you to support their head
6-9 months
6-9 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 6-9 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky or strange ways
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys, or eat and drink
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Can’t sit without support. For example, they lean on their hand, or, when they sit, their back is very curved
- Still have their early reflexes, like the startle reflex and grasp reflex
- Keep their legs flat when lying on their back, for example, do not bring their feet to their chest
- Still need you to support their head
- Still need you to help turn their head when lying on their back
- Can’t crawl, or find it hard, for example, drags one of their legs behind them
- Find it difficult to stand, for example:
- Can’t stand with support
- Doesn’t try to pull themselves up to stand
- Can’t move a toy from one hand to the other
- Doesn’t use both hands to hold larger things
9-12 months
9-12 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 9-12 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Use one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Lean to the side when they sit
- Use one arm to pull to stand more than the other
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys, or eat and drink.
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Find it difficult to sit, for example:
- Only sit with support
- Lean on their hand when sitting
- When they sit their back is very curved
- Can’t move a toy from one hand to the other
- Don’t use both hands to hold larger things
- Don’t point to objects
- Can’t crawl, or find it hard, for example, drags one leg behind them
- Find it difficult to stand, for example:
- Can’t pull themselves up to stand
- Find it hard to pull themselves up. For example, they only use their arms and don’t push with their legs
- Can’t stand with support
2 months
Your Baby By Two Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Calms down when spoken to or picked up
- Looks at your face
- Seems happy to see you when you walk up to her
- Smiles when you talk to or smile at her
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes sounds other than crying
- Reacts to loud sounds
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Watches you as you move
- Looks at a toy for several seconds
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Holds head up when on tummy
- Moves both arms and both legs
- Opens hands briefly
4 months
Your Baby By Four Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Smiles on his own to get your attention
- Chuckles (not yet a full laugh) when you try to make him laugh
- Looks at you, moves, or makes sounds to get or keep your attention
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes sounds like “oooo”, “aahh” (cooing)
- Makes sounds back when you talk to him
- Turns head towards the sound of your voice
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving
- If hungry, opens mouth when he sees breast or bottle
- Looks at her hands with interest
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Holds head steady without support when you are holding him
- Holds a toy when you put it in his hand
- Uses his arm to swing at toys
- Brings hands to mouth
- Pushes up onto elbows/forearms when on tummy
6 months
Your Baby By Six Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Knows familiar people
- Likes to look at self in a mirror
- Laughs
Language/Communication Milestones
- Takes turns making sounds with you
- Blows “raspberries” (sticks tongue out and blows)
- Makes squealing noises
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts things in her mouth to explore them
- Reaches to grab a toy she wants
- Closes lips to show she doesn’t want more food
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Rolls from tummy to back
- Pushes up with straight arms when on tummy
- Leans on hands to support herself when sitting
9 months
Your Baby By Nine Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Is shy, clingy, or fearful around strangers
- Shows several facial expressions, like happy, sad, angry, and surprised
- Looks when you call her name
- Reacts when you leave (looks, reaches for you, or cries)
- Smiles or laughs when you play peek-a-boo
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
- Lifts arms up to be picked up
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Looks for objects when dropped out of sight (like his spoon or toy)
- Bangs two things together
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Gets to a sitting position by herself
- Moves things from one hand to her other hand
- Uses fingers to “rake” food towards himself
- Sits without support
1 year
Your Baby By One Year
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Plays games with you, like pat-a-cake
Language/Communication Milestones
- Waves “bye-bye”
- Calls a parent “mama” or “dada” or another special name
- Understands “no” (pauses briefly or stops when you say it)
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts something in a container, like a block in a cup
- Looks for things he sees you hide, like a toy under a blanket
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Pulls up to stand
- Walks, holding on to furniture
- Drinks from a cup without a lid, as you hold it
- Picks things up between thumb and pointer finger, like small bits of food
Advice and Guidance
By being responsive and nurturing, you can reduce fear and anxiety in your child. This will supply the best conditions for their healthy brain growth.
Did you know your baby’s brain doubles in size in the first year of their life?
Your baby starts life with around one hundred billion brain cells. But by the time they’re a year old, their brain will already be two-thirds the size of an adult brain.
Your baby needs strong brain cell connections to:
- Be happy
- Feel confident
- Be secure
- Become ‘school ready’
- Learn
- Socialise
- Enjoy life
- Develop speech and language
- Be creative
- Solve problems
- Understand how others feel (empathy)
- Cope with strong emotions & feelings (self-regulation)
- Cope with difficult situations (resilience)
Your baby is born helpless so they need you to be there for them. Babies show us how they’re feeling, often through crying. When you meet your baby’s emotional needs, you help them to feel safe, positively affecting their lifelong well-being. You cannot give your
It’s important to respond, cuddle, relax, play, and talk with your child from the day they’re born. They need opportunities to explore their physical world from a safe and nurturing environment.
At 12 months, your toddler’s brain will be making trillions of connections. It’s in an exciting but demanding stage of growth.
Your toddler:
- Is more mobile
- Enjoys doing things by themselves
- Will want to investigate the world around them
- Is starting to communicate more through single words and gestures
But your toddler still needs you when something is tricky, or they want to celebrate what they can do!
Your toddler’s brain is not yet developed enough for them to:
- Express their needs in a way that’s easy for you to understand and for them to manage
- Understand how other people might feel
This means your toddler will sometimes get frustrated. This can be with anyone or anything that stops them having what they need or want.
Your child’s brain is around 90% of its adult size by the time they’re three years old.
Your child will:
- Continue to become more adventurous and independent.
- Be able to tell you about their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
- Start to play with other children, rather than alongside them. This is important for their social development.
Although your child might be making friends and needs fewer cuddles than when they were small, you’re still where they feel safest. It’s still important that you’re involved with their learning adventures and you respond to their individual needs.
Encourage your child to do things by themselves, like:
- Helping to prepare food
- Getting dressed
- Blowing their nose
This will help your child feel capable. When your child feels good inside, they’re more able to manage their behaviour.
Your child’s brain is now almost adult-sized and they will have built a huge number of strong connections in their brain with your emotional support.
These connections help your child:
- Manage their emotions and behaviour (self-regulation)
- Deal with challenges (resilience)
- Understand the way others see things (empathy)
Your child may have started to:
- Develop independence
- Learn 'right from wrong'
- Show strong feelings and emotions
- Act without thinking
Our brains change rapidly during the teenage years and continue to develop until our mid-twenties. Every teenager has different life experiences and lots of factors will affect how they feel and behave.
Adolescence, the period between childhood and adulthood, can bring:
- Increased learning abilities
- The importance of social groups and friends
- The want and need for more independence
- Strong feelings and emotions
- A possible increase in risk-taking activities, or a tendency to act without thinking
- Increased feelings of tiredness
There are many reasons why a teenager feels tired:
- Lack of sleep
- Too much screen time
- Worrying about friends
- Exams
- Being bullied
- Brain ‘pruning’, where the brain cuts back unused connections to reshape and allow more new growth. This mainly happens at night and is another reason teenagers need more sleep.
Brain pruning can also make it difficult for your teenager to make decisions. This is something they must do a lot of at this time in their life, thinking about school subjects and future careers. It’s also made harder by the fact that the decision-making part of the brain is not yet fully developed.
The emotional support you give your teenager will help them make more strong connections in their brain and help them get better at:
- Managing their emotions and behaviour (self-regulation)
- Dealing with challenges (resilience)
- Understanding the way others see things (empathy)
The brain continues changing and developing all your life. Even though your teenager may face some challenges, they’ll develop the resilience to cope when you help them.
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