Helping your baby to sleep
Some babies sleep much more than others. Some sleep for long periods, others in short bursts. Some soon sleep through the night, while some don't for a long time.
Your baby will have their own pattern of waking and sleeping, and it's unlikely to be the same as other babies you know.
It's also unlikely to fit in with your need for sleep. Try to sleep when your baby sleeps.
If you're breastfeeding, in the early weeks your baby is likely to doze off for short periods during a feed. Carry on feeding until you think your baby has finished or until they're fully asleep. This is a good opportunity to try to get a bit of rest yourself.
If you're not sleeping at the same time as your baby, don't worry about keeping the house silent while they sleep. It's good to get your baby used to sleeping through a certain amount of noise.
Coping with disturbed nights
Newborn babies invariably wake up repeatedly in the night for the first few months, and disturbed nights can be very hard to cope with.
If you have a partner, ask them to help.
Responding to babies’ needs for comfort and food is hugely beneficial for brain development and makes for more confident toddlers.
Please click here for additional information for Unicef - The Baby Friendly Initiative.
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When should you worry?
Newborn
NEWBORN
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is newborn and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Don’t have a Grasp Reflex (doesn’t grab your finger or small object when you put it in their hand)
- Are often startling and you cannot understand why
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely moves one of their arms compared to the other arm
- Rarely moves one leg compared to the other leg
- When your baby startles, one side moves or looks different from the other
6-8 weeks
6-8 WEEKS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 6-8 weeks and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Have not started to bring both their hands to their face, or do not move their arms much
- Keep their hands fisted, and you find it difficult to open their hands
- Can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Mostly moves one arm or mostly brings one hand to their face
- Rarely kicks or moves one leg compared to the other leg
2-3 months
2-3 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 2-3 months and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Have not started to bring both their hands to their face, or do not move their arms much
- Keep their hands fisted, and you find it difficult to open their hands
- Can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Mostly moves one arm or mostly brings one hand to their face
- Rarely kicks or moves one leg compared to the other leg
3-4 months
3-4 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 3-4 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when awake
- Prefer to keep their arms by their sides. For example, they do not reach for things, or do not bring their hands together over their face or tummy
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Still need you to support their head, or can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Have very tight fists and it’s hard to open their hand
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
4-6 months
4-6 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 4-6 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Are unable to roll, or can roll in one direction but not the other
- Find it difficult to reach their arms out. For example, they do not reach for toys
- Still have their early reflexes, like the startle reflex and grasp reflex
- Keep their legs flat when lying on their back. For example, they do not bring their feet to their chest
- Still need you to support their head
6-9 months
6-9 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 6-9 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky or strange ways
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys, or eat and drink
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Can’t sit without support. For example, they lean on their hand, or, when they sit, their back is very curved
- Still have their early reflexes, like the startle reflex and grasp reflex
- Keep their legs flat when lying on their back, for example, do not bring their feet to their chest
- Still need you to support their head
- Still need you to help turn their head when lying on their back
- Can’t crawl, or find it hard, for example, drags one of their legs behind them
- Find it difficult to stand, for example:
- Can’t stand with support
- Doesn’t try to pull themselves up to stand
- Can’t move a toy from one hand to the other
- Doesn’t use both hands to hold larger things
9-12 months
9-12 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 9-12 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Use one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Lean to the side when they sit
- Use one arm to pull to stand more than the other
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys, or eat and drink.
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Find it difficult to sit, for example:
- Only sit with support
- Lean on their hand when sitting
- When they sit their back is very curved
- Can’t move a toy from one hand to the other
- Don’t use both hands to hold larger things
- Don’t point to objects
- Can’t crawl, or find it hard, for example, drags one leg behind them
- Find it difficult to stand, for example:
- Can’t pull themselves up to stand
- Find it hard to pull themselves up. For example, they only use their arms and don’t push with their legs
- Can’t stand with support
2 months
Your Baby By Two Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Calms down when spoken to or picked up
- Looks at your face
- Seems happy to see you when you walk up to her
- Smiles when you talk to or smile at her
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes sounds other than crying
- Reacts to loud sounds
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Watches you as you move
- Looks at a toy for several seconds
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Holds head up when on tummy
- Moves both arms and both legs
- Opens hands briefly
4 months
Your Baby By Four Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Smiles on his own to get your attention
- Chuckles (not yet a full laugh) when you try to make him laugh
- Looks at you, moves, or makes sounds to get or keep your attention
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes sounds like “oooo”, “aahh” (cooing)
- Makes sounds back when you talk to him
- Turns head towards the sound of your voice
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving
- If hungry, opens mouth when he sees breast or bottle
- Looks at her hands with interest
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Holds head steady without support when you are holding him
- Holds a toy when you put it in his hand
- Uses his arm to swing at toys
- Brings hands to mouth
- Pushes up onto elbows/forearms when on tummy
6 months
Your Baby By Six Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Knows familiar people
- Likes to look at self in a mirror
- Laughs
Language/Communication Milestones
- Takes turns making sounds with you
- Blows “raspberries” (sticks tongue out and blows)
- Makes squealing noises
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts things in her mouth to explore them
- Reaches to grab a toy she wants
- Closes lips to show she doesn’t want more food
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Rolls from tummy to back
- Pushes up with straight arms when on tummy
- Leans on hands to support herself when sitting
9 months
Your Baby By Nine Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Is shy, clingy, or fearful around strangers
- Shows several facial expressions, like happy, sad, angry, and surprised
- Looks when you call her name
- Reacts when you leave (looks, reaches for you, or cries)
- Smiles or laughs when you play peek-a-boo
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
- Lifts arms up to be picked up
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Looks for objects when dropped out of sight (like his spoon or toy)
- Bangs two things together
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Gets to a sitting position by herself
- Moves things from one hand to her other hand
- Uses fingers to “rake” food towards himself
- Sits without support
1 year
Your Baby By One Year
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Plays games with you, like pat-a-cake
Language/Communication Milestones
- Waves “bye-bye”
- Calls a parent “mama” or “dada” or another special name
- Understands “no” (pauses briefly or stops when you say it)
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts something in a container, like a block in a cup
- Looks for things he sees you hide, like a toy under a blanket
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Pulls up to stand
- Walks, holding on to furniture
- Drinks from a cup without a lid, as you hold it
- Picks things up between thumb and pointer finger, like small bits of food
RED
RED
AMBER
AMBER
AMBER
AMBER
Green
Green
Advice and Guidance
How can I get my baby used to night and day?
It's a good idea to teach your baby that night-time is different from daytime from the start. During the day, open curtains, play games and don't worry too much about everyday noises when they sleep.
At night, you might find it helpful to:
- keep the lights down low
- not talk much and keep your voice quiet
- put your baby down as soon as they've been fed and changed
- not change your baby unless they need it
- not play with your baby
Your baby will gradually learn that night-time is for sleeping.
Where should my baby sleep?
For the first 6 months your baby should be in the same room as you when they're asleep, both day and night. This can reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).
Particularly in the early weeks, you may find your baby only falls asleep in your or your partner's arms, or when you're standing by the cot.
You can start getting your baby used to going to sleep without you comforting them by putting them down before they fall asleep or when they've just finished a feed. It may be easier to do this once your baby starts to stay alert more frequently or for longer.
If you use a baby sling to carry your baby, make sure you use it safely. The Lullaby Trust has information about swaddling your baby and using slings safely.
Self care and Prevention
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