Going home with your baby
Congratulations on the birth of your baby!
This section aims to cover some information that you and your partner may find useful as you get ready to take your baby home from hospital. We understand it can feel like a lot to take in. If you have any questions, please don’t be afraid to ask, or look at the further information available on the site.
Please discuss any questions you may have with your midwife.
When should you worry?
Newborn
NEWBORN
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is newborn and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Don’t have a Grasp Reflex (doesn’t grab your finger or small object when you put it in their hand)
- Are often startling and you cannot understand why
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely moves one of their arms compared to the other arm
- Rarely moves one leg compared to the other leg
- When your baby startles, one side moves or looks different from the other
6-8 weeks
6-8 WEEKS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 6-8 weeks and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Have not started to bring both their hands to their face, or do not move their arms much
- Keep their hands fisted, and you find it difficult to open their hands
- Can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Mostly moves one arm or mostly brings one hand to their face
- Rarely kicks or moves one leg compared to the other leg
2-3 months
2-3 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 2-3 months and they…
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm into their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You may also find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy, or have floppy arms or legs when awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive jerky movements, or writhing movements
- Have not started to bring both their hands to their face, or do not move their arms much
- Keep their hands fisted, and you find it difficult to open their hands
- Can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Mostly moves one arm or mostly brings one hand to their face
- Rarely kicks or moves one leg compared to the other leg
3-4 months
3-4 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 3-4 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when awake
- Prefer to keep their arms by their sides. For example, they do not reach for things, or do not bring their hands together over their face or tummy
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Still need you to support their head, or can’t lift their head when lying on their tummy
- Have very tight fists and it’s hard to open their hand
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
4-6 months
4-6 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 4-6 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Are unable to roll, or can roll in one direction but not the other
- Find it difficult to reach their arms out. For example, they do not reach for toys
- Still have their early reflexes, like the startle reflex and grasp reflex
- Keep their legs flat when lying on their back. For example, they do not bring their feet to their chest
- Still need you to support their head
6-9 months
6-9 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 6-9 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms or legs in repetitive, jerky or strange ways
- Move one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys, or eat and drink
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Can’t sit without support. For example, they lean on their hand, or, when they sit, their back is very curved
- Still have their early reflexes, like the startle reflex and grasp reflex
- Keep their legs flat when lying on their back, for example, do not bring their feet to their chest
- Still need you to support their head
- Still need you to help turn their head when lying on their back
- Can’t crawl, or find it hard, for example, drags one of their legs behind them
- Find it difficult to stand, for example:
- Can’t stand with support
- Doesn’t try to pull themselves up to stand
- Can’t move a toy from one hand to the other
- Doesn’t use both hands to hold larger things
9-12 months
9-12 MONTHS
Contact your health visitor or GP if your baby is 9-12 months and they…
- Have lost skills which they could do before
- Feel very stiff, for example:
- Hold their arms and legs in the same position, such as always pulling their arm to their chest, or always crossing their legs
- Find it difficult to change their position on their own
- You find it difficult to move your baby’s arms or legs, making it tricky to change their nappy or clothes
- Feel very floppy when they are awake
- Move their arms and legs in repetitive, jerky, or strange ways
- Use one side of their body more than the other, for example:
- Lean to the side when they sit
- Use one arm to pull to stand more than the other
- Rarely use one of their arms to pick up toys, or eat and drink.
- Rarely kick one leg compared to the other
- Find it difficult to sit, for example:
- Only sit with support
- Lean on their hand when sitting
- When they sit their back is very curved
- Can’t move a toy from one hand to the other
- Don’t use both hands to hold larger things
- Don’t point to objects
- Can’t crawl, or find it hard, for example, drags one leg behind them
- Find it difficult to stand, for example:
- Can’t pull themselves up to stand
- Find it hard to pull themselves up. For example, they only use their arms and don’t push with their legs
- Can’t stand with support
2 months
Your Baby By Two Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Calms down when spoken to or picked up
- Looks at your face
- Seems happy to see you when you walk up to her
- Smiles when you talk to or smile at her
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes sounds other than crying
- Reacts to loud sounds
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Watches you as you move
- Looks at a toy for several seconds
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Holds head up when on tummy
- Moves both arms and both legs
- Opens hands briefly
4 months
Your Baby By Four Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Smiles on his own to get your attention
- Chuckles (not yet a full laugh) when you try to make him laugh
- Looks at you, moves, or makes sounds to get or keep your attention
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes sounds like “oooo”, “aahh” (cooing)
- Makes sounds back when you talk to him
- Turns head towards the sound of your voice
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving
- If hungry, opens mouth when he sees breast or bottle
- Looks at her hands with interest
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Holds head steady without support when you are holding him
- Holds a toy when you put it in his hand
- Uses his arm to swing at toys
- Brings hands to mouth
- Pushes up onto elbows/forearms when on tummy
6 months
Your Baby By Six Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Knows familiar people
- Likes to look at self in a mirror
- Laughs
Language/Communication Milestones
- Takes turns making sounds with you
- Blows “raspberries” (sticks tongue out and blows)
- Makes squealing noises
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts things in her mouth to explore them
- Reaches to grab a toy she wants
- Closes lips to show she doesn’t want more food
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Rolls from tummy to back
- Pushes up with straight arms when on tummy
- Leans on hands to support herself when sitting
9 months
Your Baby By Nine Months
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Is shy, clingy, or fearful around strangers
- Shows several facial expressions, like happy, sad, angry, and surprised
- Looks when you call her name
- Reacts when you leave (looks, reaches for you, or cries)
- Smiles or laughs when you play peek-a-boo
Language/Communication Milestones
- Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
- Lifts arms up to be picked up
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Looks for objects when dropped out of sight (like his spoon or toy)
- Bangs two things together
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Gets to a sitting position by herself
- Moves things from one hand to her other hand
- Uses fingers to “rake” food towards himself
- Sits without support
1 year
Your Baby By One Year
Social/Emotional Milestones
- Plays games with you, like pat-a-cake
Language/Communication Milestones
- Waves “bye-bye”
- Calls a parent “mama” or “dada” or another special name
- Understands “no” (pauses briefly or stops when you say it)
Cognitive Milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Puts something in a container, like a block in a cup
- Looks for things he sees you hide, like a toy under a blanket
Movement/Physical Development Milestones
- Pulls up to stand
- Walks, holding on to furniture
- Drinks from a cup without a lid, as you hold it
- Picks things up between thumb and pointer finger, like small bits of food
Advice and Guidance
Following the birth of your baby, the midwives and doctors will talk to you about your recovery and help decide the best time for you to go home. This can vary depending on how well you and your baby are.
You will find lots of useful information for new mothers on this site or you can ask your midwife any questions at your appointments.
Before you leave, make sure our staff have the right address and phone number for you so we can arrange your next appointment.
When you go home, you’ll be under the care of the community midwifery team. Your appointment may take place over the phone, in a community hub or at your home.
If you need further support, you can contact your midwife or the postnatal ward if it is outside of routine working hours on the phone numbers provided.
Your health visitor will contact you in the first two weeks to arrange an appointment. The health visiting team can support you and your family until your child reaches school age.
For babies born prematurely or with extra health needs you may also have follow- up appointments with the neonatal community service.
Click here for more information about your appointments and postnatal care
The physical recovery from pregnancy and birth is different for everyone. During the six weeks after birth, your body will slowly begin the process of getting back to its pre-pregnancy state. It’s important to remember that this happens at a different pace for everyone, and some women take longer to recover than others.
Visit Mother Health section for more information if you have concerns about your postnatal health
After birth you will experience vaginal bleeding, similar to that of a heavy period. You may have one or two quite large clots (the size of a tomato or satsuma) or several smaller ones (about the size of a grape) during the first two to three days. Over the following days and weeks your blood loss should reduce in quantity, it may even completely stop but then restart a few days later. This is normal, it is just your body getting itself ready to begin its menstrual cycle again.
If you are breastfeeding, you may find your blood loss is initially slightly heavier just after feeding your baby. You may also find that when your postnatal bleeding stops completely, your period may not return for many months.
If you have any worries please click here for further information.
You may experience pain, similar to mild labour pains after the birth. After pains following birth are normal and not a cause for concern. You may notice these are worse if you have had more than one child. Some women notice afterpains while breastfeeding. You should expect after pains to improve day by day as your womb (uterus) returns to its normal size. Taking regular paracetamol (1g every 4-6 hours - not exceeding 4g in 24hrs) and ibuprofen (200–400 mg 3–4 times a day) will help with the discomfort. Please avoid taking medication that contains codeine if breastfeeding.
If you have concerns about your afterpains please click here
For more information about pain relief and medications following birth please click here
After birth, some women need stitches to their perineum which is the area between your vagina and bottom. The length of time it takes for these to heal is very individual and depends on the type of tear. Keeping your perineal area as clean and dry as possible, changing maternity pads frequently and washing your hands before and after going to the toilet will help to reduce the risk of infection.
If you experience an increase in pain from your stitches, notice an unpleasant smell or discharge then please let your midwife or GP know, so they can check them for you.
If you have had a 3rd or 4th degree tear, a follow-up appointment will be made for you so we can be sure it is healing well.
For more information please click here
For information about recovery after your caesarean section please click here
Your pelvic floor muscles are the group of muscles you would use to stop yourself passing wind or for holding in a wee. The pelvic floor are weakened by pregnancy and birth so we advise doing exercises to help strengthen them again to prevent future problems. Generally these exercises are tricky immediately following birth, but get easier in the coming weeks. Try and make them a part of your daily routine.
You may like to download the squeezy app for information and reminders. For more information, Click here
Some women are advised by their midwife to wear special stockings after the birth to reduce the risk of blood clots in the legs. This advice will depend on the type of birth and any additional risk factors. You are at your highest risk of developing a blood clot just after having your baby so tell your midwife or another health professional if you experience pain in your lower leg, or redness, swelling or pain in your groin.
There are some signs that we ask you to look out for and report to a health professional. These include:
- fainting
- dizziness
- palpitations (when your heart feels like its beating fast, or your notice your heart beat)
- abdominal pain
- fever
- shivering
- headaches with blurred vision
- nausea and vomiting
- flu like symptoms
- shortness of breath
- chest pain.
If you feel unwell or experience pain after your baby is born please look at the information here, call your midwife or the postnatal ward if it is out of hours. In an emergency, call 999.
Pregnancy and birth can cause many strong emotions. It is important to talk about how you feel with your midwife and other health professionals and also with your partner, family and friends.
It is very normal to become very teary and emotional around day three – you may have heard of this period described as the ‘baby blues’. Your hormone levels are high, you’re likely to be very tired and the adjustment to new family life can feel overwhelming for many women. These are very normal feelings and they may fluctuate over the first 7-10 days.
If after two weeks you feel that you are still feeling down, depressed or hopeless and have little interest in doing things then please speak to your health visitor or see your GP. Your GP can give you ongoing emotional support and signpost you to other health professionals if needed.
Please listen to your family and friends if they have any concerns regarding your emotional wellbeing as it is often loved ones who notice you may need extra support.
Visit Maternal Mental Health section for more information.
There are no rules about when to start having sex again after you have given birth, but it is important that you are aware that you are fertile and could conceive again from approximately 21 days following birth.
Exclusively breastfeeding is not a reliable form of contraception and other methods such as condoms, pills, injections, implants or the coil are recommended to avoid becoming pregnant again too soon. Many of these can be started immediately after birth. If you are breastfeeding and you would like to use a hormonal contraception then you will be advised to have a progesterone-only option.
Click here for more information
If you, or your partner are a smoker and would like help with quitting please let your midwife or GP know. They will be more than happy to help with this, or you can self refer to your local quit smoking service. There is a range of free help available including nicotine replacement therapies. Smoking around your baby increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome also known as SIDS or cot death. If you plan to continue then please smoke outside, away from your baby then wash your hands and change your clothes (where possible) before going near your baby.
If you have a background medical condition or a new medical condition diagnosed in pregnancy your healthcare team will outline the future plan with you before you go home. It may be important for you to see your GP for on-going tests and further treatments.
You may have delayed your screening for cervical cancer while you were pregnant, please remember to re book this once your baby is over 12 weeks old.
As a new Dad or partner, you will feel excited, but you may also feel left out, unsure or overwhelmed. There is more information for Dads and Partners here.
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